Way back in 2020, I wrote a post outlining 6 things that would get someone to write a reference letter for you. I’ve written reference letters for a couple of students who worked with me preparing lab classes. My references are glowing for them – I’ve seen them work, I’ve watched how they interact with others, and how willing they are to help someone who may not have gotten a technique as fast as them.

Then, I get an email from one of the students in a class I adjunct for. This is what her message said (minus the specific type of program):

Good evening,

I’m preparing to apply to several [type of] programs in the coming months, and I wanted to reach out to ask if you would be willing to serve as a professional reference for me.

Your support would mean a great deal, and I truly value the leadership and guidance you’ve provided. If you’re open to it, please let me know the best email address to send the reference request to.

Thank you so much for considering, and I appreciate your time.

Warm regards,
Name

What do you think my response was? If you said no, you would be correct. And here’s why. There are only two things I know about this student: 1) her name 2) she got an A in the class. Outside of that, we never interacted. This was the first message she had sent me all year. And the message she did send was not directed towards me, and was exceedingly generalized. Here’s how I would fix this scenario (as an addition to my previous post).

1. If you think you may use your professor as a reference, begin reaching out to them throughout the class period. Show interest, a willingness to learn, and set yourself apart from your classmates who don’t interact. Your professor needs to know who you are if you want a strong reference.
2. Address them specifically in the email, and mention something specific to the past conversations you’ve had. Instead of just saying that you value leadership and guidance, mention how cool it was when the professor explained cyanobacteria to you outside of class and what you really liked about that. Personalize it to the professor.
3. Only ask if you know they can give you a strong reference. She is trying to enter competitive programs. She’s going to want strong references, which I cannot give. The only thing I can write is that X got an A in my class. I have nothing else to go off of. No other conversations, etc.

If you’re looking to find someone to be a reference, choose someone who can give you a strong one. Someone who knows your work ethic, your passion to learn, your excitement for a specific career field, someone who’s been able to interact with you and see enough of your character traits to have a specific, positive evaluation of them. If you ask someone who writes a generalized letter because they don’t really know you, it’s not going to be a good reference for you (even if they don’t say anything negative, it will be obvious they don’t really know you).

Your strong references will change over time, too. I’m no longer asking my professors who watched me struggle through biochem but saw my resilience and determination (went from a D to an A with the professor’s help). I’m now asking prior mentors/coworkers/supervisors as they’ve had the chance to work with me and see how I handle situations. I also know which coworkers not to pick – the ones who don’t know me well or the ones who don’t like me.

It’s not difficult to get someone to write a reference letter for you – if they know you.

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